Dog Show Fashion

The Westminster Dog Show is the biggest dog show of the year and the world will be watching to see which pooch will be crowned “Best In Show.” I was very marginally involved in the dog show scene as a kid during a short stint spent breeding Australian Shepards. I soon determined it wasn’t worth my effort because of one overarching problem: the wardrobe.

Where I’m from, the dog handlers wore Wrangler jeans and Ropers (the lace up cowboy boots with fringe on the toe), which really isn’t so bad in retrospect, although I hated it at the time. But the fashion I see in the national, televised dog shows makes me want to scratch my eyes out, and not because of an allergy to dog dander.

The dogs are so cute. I always feel bad for them having to stand for hours during torturous beauty treatments, like eyebrow waxing and Brazilian blow-outs. My own little Girlscout is a purebred Welsh Terrier from a line of dog show champions. She would probably be famous if I weren’t such a poop. What can I say, I don’t want to wear calf-length polyester skirts with worn out flats and a man’s shoulder pad-enriched blazer as I prance with her around the ring.

As you watch the Westminster show, which is on USA tonight, I challenge you not to stare at the dog handlers and their horrible clothes. Look at the dogs, damn it! Their eyes are down here.

And while we are on the topic, what do you think dog handlers should wear to show off their pooches to replace the standard ill-fitting and unfashionable attire? An all black ninja look with everything but the eyes concealed would be my vote, or hot pink 80s work-out gear would bring a much needed action sports attitude to the ring,  but I want to hear from you.

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